Where energy flows
Creation it grows
And blossoms inside like a tree
A big cauldron bubbles
With spells on the boil
The spells form in deep poetry
In figures of eight
Two people wait
Its symbol carved into the sand
Passing the ball
Where creation is formed
Ideas begin to expand
Now imagine if I
Connect to the sky
And also connect to the ground
A big figure eight
Suspended in space
Infinity there can be found
And imagine if we
Connect to the sea
And mountains that rise from the earth
Imagine the flow
Where energy goes
And what those ideas
Would be worth
Now Imagine connection
In every direction
With each living thing that you see
Imagine creation
On that kind of level
And you will have found
harmony
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Seems that metaphors are mixed here: tree & cauldron. Also I do not think that sand can be carved. "Passing the ball" is a bit slangy
ReplyDeleteOn the positive side there is a nice cadence to the poem.
I suggest that you pick one metaphor and develop it through out the poem. If you shift metaphors make sure it is not abrupt.
Ed_4 Twitter.